What a difficult day! A walkthrough.

Yesterday was rough.  Throughout the night before, I woke up several times and I’d feel the pain at the base of my neck and I knew it would be a difficult day.  It always started like this.  I knew I should have gotten up and taken something for the pain, but it was too cold.  I just wanted to find a comfortable position and go back to sleep.

When I woke up, the pain had moved into my eyes, shoulders and down my back. I went through a mental checklist: was it because of my old bed? my sinuses? tension?  It could have been any of those things. When I got out of bed, I noticed my heartburn started acting up and my body felt “off” I just wasn’t feeling good.  It seems everything causes heartburn these days so I decided not to eat breakfast.

I got my stuff together so I could work on my blog.  I had recorded some tutorials for the blog and was trying to upload them to my computer, but even my equipment wasn’t being cooperative!  I didn’t have a problem uploading my videos the first time, but it hasn’t worked since. I worked on this for several hours and I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working. I felt a meltdown coming on.  It could have easily ended in either tears and self-pity or rage at how God is against me, but I chose to accept the challenge to find a way to overcome this issue.  Doesn’t the saying go, “That which doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger?” Well, I choose to be stronger! Besides, I Googled it and there were plenty of people having the same problem, so I kept my cool and tried to figure out another way to get around this. If only the headache would go away!!

As the day wore on and I still hadn’t made any progress, I began to feel a heaviness in my chest.  Not sadness, not anger, I don’t think I felt anything except anxiousness and my mood was tanking! I’ve been down this path before.  I couldn’t sit still.  I am on a deadline and sitting around wasn’t being productive, but nothing was working out.

Being new in a small town, away from family wasn’t helping and what is that ache in my stomach?  I was trying to figure out how to pull myself out of this funk! to push off this heaviness while chasing the negative thoughts away.  Normally, I loved the solitude. But this feeling was creeping up on my more and more.  I know it’s not good to be isolated for long periods of time, but I need to get this work done.  I only have 6 weeks left!

I decided to take my dog down to the mailbox to check the mail.  Thunder Paws drug me down to the mail box and drug me back to the house.  Hmmm!  What was that feeling?  Was the dark cloud breaking up? Could it have been the minuscule workout with the dog, resisting her as she sought to drag me all over the property? being outside among the tall evergreen trees, or the walk down the dirt path, that made that small difference?

When I got back to the house, I ate lunch and noticed the pain in my stomach was easing up, as well as the heartburn.  Wow! I was beginning to feel better!  The heaviness in my chest was easing too, so I put on a comedy show and kind of listened to it as I did research for a blog post.

Finally, I just stopped.  I gave in.  I’m not feeling myself, so I need to let my mind and body just rest for the day.  As much as I read and listen to people talk about self-care, it never occurs to me that I need to take time to let my body and mind rest, since I require so much from both.

As I write this blog, I’m listening to classical music which always keep the anxiety away as I work.  I have committed to myself to self-care.  As soon as I sign off here, I’m going outside to look up at the starry sky!

Readers, have you felt the same? If you can relate, Please leave a comment.


Thinking Vs Doing

It seems silly to say, but thinking is not doing. Who would ever confuse the two?  Or busy vs being productive? Without giving it some thought, it’s easy to do one and think you’re doing the other! I’ve caught myself doing this over and over again.  Even after recognizing it, you’d think that you’d change, but it’s not that easy. Your brain falls back into the pattern that busy is being productive.

I know I have to generate income for this move.  It’s not enough that I just work my day job, but I have to figure out how to generate income from home or get another job.

I get up and go to work.  I get off at 4:30pm, run to the grocery store(15 min drive), spend about 45 min there, then drive 30 min home.  Put the groceries away and start cleaning the house, get dinner on the stove, throw some laundry in the washer. After dinner, I take the clothes out of the dryer and put them away, do a little sewing, take a shower and go to bed.

I had a full day’s work, but did I make a financial dent in my efforts to get back home? ugh! No! I ran through an entire day without being productive.  I sold 7 hours of my time, doing alterations, to my boss for less than my skills are worth.  I took care of things I needed to take care of, but without a plan in place, I will not be able to generate that extra income.

During my day, I’ll listen to podcasts about being productive and about the side work I can do and the income I can generate online.  I’m thinking about this stuff all day.  My mind gets exhausted with all that it’s taking on, but when I get home, I jump into my “home” routine and never put the information I received during the day, into action. I feel good that I now have the information, but I have to remember that thinking and doing are two different things.  I need to sign up for that program, or get that website set up, collect those emails,  or write that blog.

Yes, I know there are a lot of fears to contend with.

  1. Is my writing good enough to have a blog?
    1. There is a spelling and grammar check and search engines to research and check for anything you need.
  2. Will people read what I write?
    1. YES! If you use the right tags and search words and if your content is what people are wanting,
  3. Will they buy what I’m selling?
    1. Yes, If it’s quality content or a great product. so, do your research and work hard!
  4. What will they think of me?
    1. That’s none of your business.  Be who you are and your tribe will find you!

By failing to prepare, you’re preparing to fail – Benjamin Franklin

Now,  go plan your day!


Going Home update

I have continued looking for a second job, pulling in side work (alterations) and praying that more men would come into the shop to buy, buy, buy!

I actually got to work a full 4 days! It made my check look a little better, but it won’t pull me out of this rut any time soon, much less get me back home. So, I continue to look for work.

My older son called me last night and told me that he bought me a late B’day gift. After playing phone tag throughout the day, I guessed what it was.  My kids can’t keep their own secrets! ❤ It’s a MacBook!!

I am excited and relieved to have a computer again! It makes working online so much easier!  Thanks Nick!

Jacket pattern. McCall’s 6657

After weeks and months of working your 9-to-5 job and sewing for your clients, it’s nice to be able to sew for yourself. It’s not the grunt work of just sewing seams and doing alterations and trying to bring your clients vision to fruition. But you get to choose the fabrics and the colors and the patterns and using your best hands stitches to complete a garment that you truly love.

Saturday night I spent hours cutting out the pattern pieces to a jacket that I wanted to make. I have this fabric in my stash, since 2012 or 2013 I think. I love the fabric, but I never used it because I didn’t want to just make anything with it, because once you cut it you’ll never have that fabric again. I got it on sale somewhere, and I didn’t know the fiber content, but according to a burn test, it looks like it’s nylon. It’s got a sheen on one side and almost a brushed cotton feeling on the back and has a slight stretch to the fabric.

I started cutting the pieces out and in the back of my mind I’m trying to think of how I want to line it. Then I remembered that I have a beautiful blue polyester lining in my stash and I decided that’s what I want to use for the lining.

Usually, when sewing, I will just use the pattern for cutting and then I will totally go off script on the assembling and do things my way, but on this project, I tried my very best to stick with the instructions and I’m really happy with the turn out.

The only issue I had with this, is that I am using a home iron, and a very low quality one at that, so I’m not getting the benefits of a really good press on the fabric.

I could work the fabric and possibly do a top stitching all the way around to give it that really great finished look, but I didn’t want to do a topstitch on this jacket. We’ll see though. I’m not completely finished with the jacket yet, I am currently handstitching the hems and sewing the facings down. I will post pictures of the completed project later.

There were two patterns I had to choose from, mcCall’s 6442 and McCall’s 6657. I chose my calls 6657 view D and shortened it to the length of view C.


Going Home- Preparation

Due to things my son is going through, I’ve decided it’s time to go home to California.  Even though I’ve gained some skills , jobs here aren’t hiring full time, so coming up with the money to make the move is going to be a challenge.  I’m currently working for a high end men’s clothing store, doing alterations.  I love the work, and there are plenty of men buying clothes, but there are companies that offer made-to-fit suits and it eliminates the need for alterations, so again, I’m hustling, trying to get this money together for the trip back to my son.

I didn’t want him to know that I was coming, just in case it didn’t work out to the timeline I set, but someone let the cat out of the bag and he is really excited!  I have to make this happen!

So, I have been applying everywhere for a second and even third job.  I got called in on a job I applied for, to fill out paperwork for a background check. They said it would take about two weeks. ugh! In the meantime, I’m doing bridal alterations at home for a local bridal shop that is going out of business.  They should be closed in September or October.  My deadline for leaving is October 31st!

Normally, I’d be stressed about the insane hustle, but it’s pulling out of me the grit that I’ve always know was there.  I used to be so negative and fearful, but this hustle is changing me and I accept the challenge to make it any way I can! Legally! 😉

It was recommended that I open a GoFundMe account.  I know some people are hesitant to give money for something like this, but I’m not sitting around waiting for people to drop money in my lap.  I’m working, I’m selling online, I’m doing side work,  I’m selling my stuff.  If you’d like to donate, I’d appreciate it!


If you’d like to follow my journey home, please click the “follow” button on the right sidebar.

If you want to follow my Going Home video series, click below, then subscribe to my Youtube channel.


Have a great Day!




Going Home- A little background

I’ve lived in California all of my life, not much changed in my life and I was good with that! I didn’t like change, but in my mind’s eye, I often saw myself in different places, doing different things working in various types of jobs. Not hoping for it, but definitely wondering what it would be like to move around, work in different places and seeing different things.

Well, that time came in my life in June 2014.  I was being pushed out of California due to my circumstances. I lacked the skills and confidence to reach for those higher paid positions and jobs just weren’t hiring full time employees due to the fact that companies were being forced to provide health insurance for their full time employees. I told my ex, that if he’d give me more than $200 for child support a month for both children, then I might be able to squeeze out a living there, but he said he couldn’t.  My son wanted to live with him and as devastating as it was, I had to leave him there, and took the girls with me.

So, In June 2014, I took my tax return, sold as much of my stuff as I could, except for my sewing equipment, which I could always fall back on for making money on a side hustle, and filled a 17 foot U-Haul truck.  What didn’t fit, got left behind.  My oldest daughter and I left our home in Southern California and headed out to Helena, Montana.  I had sent my younger daughter out a couple of weeks earlier to be with my sister.  She’d be waiting for us when we got there.

Before we left, California, I had set up a job interview with a temp agency, so I’d have work as soon as I got there.  I worked for the temp agency for a month before I got a job at the hospital in housekeeping. I worked that position for about 1.5 yrs. While delivering mail on the days that I didn’t work at the hospital.  Then I got a position as a Health Unit coordinator, working 3rd shift on the women’s and children’s floor.  That was a pretty sweet job!

In April 2016, I decided to move to South Carolina, where I am now.  It’s absolutely beautiful here!  So different from California and Montana and nice people.

In preparation for moving to South Carolina, I again, sold all that I could, keeping just what I needed and even had to leave some things I didn’t want to, but if there’s no room, then there’s just no room, so I had to leave those things behind.

The journey has been interesting to say the least.  It has its good moments and plenty of difficult moments, but I’m discovering how resourceful you are when you have to be!