Yesterday was rough. Throughout the night before, I woke up several times and I’d feel the pain at the base of my neck and I knew it would be a difficult day. It always started like this. I knew I should have gotten up and taken something for the pain, but it was too cold. I just wanted to find a comfortable position and go back to sleep.
When I woke up, the pain had moved into my eyes, shoulders and down my back. I went through a mental checklist: was it because of my old bed? my sinuses? tension? It could have been any of those things. When I got out of bed, I noticed my heartburn started acting up and my body felt “off” I just wasn’t feeling good. It seems everything causes heartburn these days so I decided not to eat breakfast.
I got my stuff together so I could work on my blog. I had recorded some tutorials for the blog and was trying to upload them to my computer, but even my equipment wasn’t being cooperative! I didn’t have a problem uploading my videos the first time, but it hasn’t worked since. I worked on this for several hours and I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working. I felt a meltdown coming on. It could have easily ended in either tears and self-pity or rage at how God is against me, but I chose to accept the challenge to find a way to overcome this issue. Doesn’t the saying go, “That which doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger?” Well, I choose to be stronger! Besides, I Googled it and there were plenty of people having the same problem, so I kept my cool and tried to figure out another way to get around this. If only the headache would go away!!
As the day wore on and I still hadn’t made any progress, I began to feel a heaviness in my chest. Not sadness, not anger, I don’t think I felt anything except anxiousness and my mood was tanking! I’ve been down this path before. I couldn’t sit still. I am on a deadline and sitting around wasn’t being productive, but nothing was working out.
Being new in a small town, away from family wasn’t helping and what is that ache in my stomach? I was trying to figure out how to pull myself out of this funk! to push off this heaviness while chasing the negative thoughts away. Normally, I loved the solitude. But this feeling was creeping up on my more and more. I know it’s not good to be isolated for long periods of time, but I need to get this work done. I only have 6 weeks left!
I decided to take my dog down to the mailbox to check the mail. Thunder Paws drug me down to the mail box and drug me back to the house. Hmmm! What was that feeling? Was the dark cloud breaking up? Could it have been the minuscule workout with the dog, resisting her as she sought to drag me all over the property? being outside among the tall evergreen trees, or the walk down the dirt path, that made that small difference?
When I got back to the house, I ate lunch and noticed the pain in my stomach was easing up, as well as the heartburn. Wow! I was beginning to feel better! The heaviness in my chest was easing too, so I put on a comedy show and kind of listened to it as I did research for a blog post.
Finally, I just stopped. I gave in. I’m not feeling myself, so I need to let my mind and body just rest for the day. As much as I read and listen to people talk about self-care, it never occurs to me that I need to take time to let my body and mind rest, since I require so much from both.
As I write this blog, I’m listening to classical music which always keep the anxiety away as I work. I have committed to myself to self-care. As soon as I sign off here, I’m going outside to look up at the starry sky!
Readers, have you felt the same? If you can relate, Please leave a comment.